I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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