Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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