I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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