you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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