I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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