All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
