But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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