ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Damn victory sex feels great
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
