I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
