I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
