I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize