someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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