I want to stick my p in your. b.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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