I hate your face
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
