I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
