We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
