saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize