wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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