is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
