Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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