Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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