I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can text with my tongue
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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