i think i have two assholes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
