so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize