Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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