hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
