she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize