I hate your face
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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