So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize