This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
