Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
