wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
