Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
