But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
