Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
