He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
this will be a night to untag.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
