Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
