Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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