Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
