I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize