For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
