Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
