i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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