The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
