i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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