She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
