btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
