I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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