How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
