she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
