Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
