OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize