I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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