I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize