So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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