They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize