They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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