The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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