I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize