I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
