in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
