I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
