there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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