Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
